Welcome to my journal.
It's about my life, my feelings and my family with 6 children.
The twinsgirls of 10: Yinti and Djenné.
Nyo (14, autistic),
Thami (15, dyslectic and ADHD),
Lars (17),
Stef (20 ADD and Asperger),
and their father (PDD-Nos, autistic traits).

This blog is not written to offend, but it's a way to vent.
I'm allowed to.
I'm managing a nuthouse. LOL!

saturday
august 12

We never had problems with the children going to bed.
I can count the times the asked for "later" on one hand...for all 6!
But since they've ungracefully entered puberty they're huge problems.
I'm talking about the oldest three especially.

Most people can imagine 1 o'clock (after midnight) is late.
So it shouldn't be a problem getting Stef (20, asperger syndrome and ADD) to bed.
But it is.
Each night it's a kind of psychological fight to get him to bed.
And I hate it.
It's my "job" to be the last to go to sleep.

Last night... problem again.

We decided last week that we would switch the electricity in the house of in that case, so I told Jim that I needed just 5 minutes more.
I brushed my teeth, checked the girls and said it was OK to switch the lot of.
I was upstairs, Jim downstairs.

Then I just switched the washing machine of.
Within 2 minutes Stef went downstairs.
So he must have thought that switching the washing machine of was the first step of getting all the electricity out. LOL!
I just had to put in a sock I hadn't seen. LOL!

This morning none of the computers was working.
Nyo is always very early and he's allowed to pass time on the computer, so he doesn't wake up anybody else.
I wondered why Jim was walking around, talking, but it turned out he was asking Stef to reconnect the computers.

Well, a little talk later we knew Stef was angry with me for switching of electricity, so he disconnected the computers to teach me a lesson.
It took quite some time to explain that none switched of electricity, so his feelings were based on a misconception.
I couldn't get through to him explaining that health has to do with sleeping a certain amount of time.

I'm nearly in tears.
It feels like his psychological condition is worsening.
His reactions are more childish, and more manipulative than ever, and I worry he might erase everything on my computer if he feels to do so.
He is the nerd in the house...You see.
I don't even know how to password the computer in such a way that he can't find out access.

It feels so disappointing that he has a good upbringing, but he just doesn't use it in any way.
That he feels hatred when we just want to have him to have some sleep, and when we don't want him to disturb the others in the family.
He just consumes... bread, energy, everything, and hardly returns anything.
I know he has Asperger and ADD, but that doesn't mean he can't learn to show decent behaviour.

It's so sad...

During this last half year I started to accept it's better that he leaves the house.
That someone else is in a therapeutic relationship with him.
I can't cope anymore.
I have dedicated 20 years full time to form him into a human being that makes other people smile, feel at ease and feel respected.
But I have to admit that I failed...

friday
august 11

The last day of the vacation if the girls.
Wie tried to make the best of it.

The first weeks were tropical, and they had some nice trips to playgrounds and such.
Then the weather changed and the last two weeks were rain and rain alone.

In a way I feel sorry for them, on the other hand.... this vacation was a relaxed one for them.
I haven't bothered them too much about tydying their room...so it's a kind of dump now.
Hmm...will get a grip on that next week.

They also are lucky they both get the teachers they want, so I'm happy for them.

About 800 dollar wordt of books arrived ... two boxes... for Thami and Nyo.
And who knows how much more they need within weeks.....

Their school starts a week after next, and Stef will starts at the 23th.

How happy I will be to have the house to myself.
I need some time alone...

Got to the dentist yesterday to get the splint.
Very bad weather was nearing, so I told the assistant to take all the time of the world.... We had a good talk about problems she experiences with her children.
The knowledge about dealing with spectrumchildren and my interest in matters that have to do with relationships within the family came in handy.
In the meantime we heard the rain clashing on the roof.
Wooo-hooo... that was ba-a-a-a-d!!!

Then the detist came in and we told him we tried to get the splint of the model and we hardly couldn't.
Then he tried it in my mouth and had the same problems... but he wasn't as afraid to brake the splint.
So he resized it by scraping parts of it, and then it was OK.

He's a very dedicated guy. Introvert, but very friendly.
He values the same dentist as a friend as I... and I'm sure that if he would come back from Canada we both end up there as patients.. although I have to say that it would be a hard choice for me.
This guy gave me back my confidence in dentists... which was ruined by three very bad ones.
So we laughed and chatted a bit to and fro, and I was thinking his shirt fitted him well... not everyone can wear soft purple/white checquered stuff without looking a sissy, and then he gave me a hand and I was off...
Realising I had a huge smile on my face when a man in the waitingroom smiled back..LOL!
Hmmm...he was cute... What a pity I'm not such a person who sits down and has a chat. They guy was really interesting.

So I can't complain I haven't had any excitement during the vacation.

When I came outside the bad weather was at the horizon.
And when I got on the bycicle I felt 80 again.
That hip still causes much pain...

tuesday
august 8

Still pain in my hip.
I can barely sit.
So I[m behind with commenting, email and about everything else.
Sorry.

monday
august 3

It's raining lots and lots and lots, feels like nature is making up for the dryest july ever.
The temperature is back to normal, so I sleep at nights, which is quite an improvement.

Some weeks ago we decided to apply for the extra money parents of children in need are supposed to get.
We never applied, because it's always such a toodoo, but we were talked to it by someone who said it could make people think we were not doing everything for the benefit of the children.
Poohh.. as if more money sayd something...

Still, we fell for it.

I filled in all the forms and when they were on the pile to be copied we got a letter that the file was closed.
As we applied for Nyo and Thami and there was no number...nothing... I mailed asking about which child they were talking.
Within ten minutes were were called and told the files were open again.
That was the fastest governmental action ever! LOL!

So the whole lot was send and we expected months to pass... That's normal, isn't it?

yesterday Jim was called in the morning. I was under the shower getting ready for the dentist.
Glad he didn't call me to come, as my back is still hurting like hell.

She would call back later that afternoon.

Which she did.

To my surprise she wanted to make a housecall.

As we have had a couple of times in the past that socalled professionals wanted to pay a housecall, just to see how the house was decorated, and how we deal with 6 kids in a house... socalled plain curiosity...LOL!...I was not to eager to say ˙es"just like that.

So I asked her why.
She said there were still some answers left after reading the forms and she needed the answers to complete her info...to objectivate our application.

So I asked her which questions she meant.
She didn't want to say.

Well, if I have someone in the house, I want why... maybe that's strange...

Well, to be honest, I didn't like the way she was dealing with the matter.
Not asking if it was convenient. She had slurred speech, as if she didn't like her job, and she sounded plain pushy.

I felt very uncomfortable by the way she was dealing with the matter.
I told her I couldn't make an appointment before the end of the month and she said she had to give her task back to the contactperson.
That didn't make me cry. LOL!
so when we got of the phone there was no appointment made and I sat down to mail the contactperson.

Before the mail was ready she called back.
She was OK with making an appointment at the end of the month.
So I took my agenda and sat down, telling her I wasn't able to make a completely fixed appointment as I didn't know the schoolschedules yet, and I had to know, because I supposed she wanted to have a quiet talk.

Then suddenly with a very strange voive she told me she wanted to see the boys.
"Just for a moment, after that they can go and play outside."

The strange way she said it triggered all my warningsigns.
"Why do you want to see them?"
I got no answer.
"They have been seen by a psychiatrist, what is your profession so you can decide within minutes they are handicapped enough to say they need more attention and care than other children?"
Again no answer.

"I think this very strange. I've never dealt with housecalls for matters like these.
I'll first talk to the contactperson before making an appointment. I want to know why and as you can't answer me, it means you're either not fit gor the job, or you're not honest with me."

So I mailed the contactperson, got a call back the next day, with apologies and the hole lot.
It was told they had to make a housecall by law, which I don't believe.
I also explained it would mean my husband had to take a complete day off of work, as the boys need supervision, and that means less vacation.
Ofcourse she had the law to hide behind....

She agreed the woman was behaving improperly by not asking if her call would be convenient, etc etc.
She asked me my professional opinion, and I straightforward told her that if she was not able to give me a good feel about a call like that, she was not a professional, etc etc.
The contactperson told she would file an official complaint. Also because she had been pressuring me to make an appointment within a week during the vacation.
She had been lying that she had to give her task back.

The next day we got a call from another woman, and we agreed she would call back when she was back from vacation. We intended to plan the visit at september 6th.

That gives me some time to inform the government about this way of dealing with matters and to find out if a housecall is prescribed by law, and what they are allowed to ask and see.

I'm still not sure why they're coming, as I have told I'm perfectly willing to answer all questions by email.