Welcome to my journal.
It's about my life, my feelings and my family with 6 children.
The twinsgirls of 10: Yinti and Djenné.
Nyo (14, autistic), Thami (15, dyslectic and ADHD), Lars (17), Stef (20 ADD and Asperger), and their father (PDD-Nos, autistic traits).
This blog is not written to offend, but it's a way to vent.
I'm allowed to. I'm managing a nuthouse. LOL!
september 23 2006
Yesterday evening we had the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen.
The sky was red...almost bloodred, and then purple.I don't have words for it. It was great!!
Had today such a strange morning.
Went to the band on my bike, and I felt very contect.
No pain in my hip, and finally some time on my own.
I just looked around and didn't cling to any thought, but the one that was keeping the time.
When I arrived it was liking getting into a warm bath.
Every one was so very nice and happy to see me again.
I gave the whistles I had ordered for some of the bandmembers, and handed over a present to my teacher, who had finished his studies with good succes.
He came back to me to kiss me again to thank me for what was in the nag: w little bottle of whiskey.
When I was with a bandfestivity for the first time, at the open day last year, he gave me a sip of whisky, and it was my first sip at the band.
So it wqs an easy choice to give him some whiskey. He worked so very hard.
Then we went upstairs and as he was needed at the band, we did our excercises and my little finger just wasn't listening to me.
Only when we thought we would go for a break, far after the others had one, the bandleader and teacher came in for the exam.
I was nervous already about that exam, as I didn't feel I was ready.
Well, the others said they could do it.
Putting my performance against theirs...I didn't do so bad.LOL!
We failed all three....
Taking the circumstances into consideration.. one can play only for a certain amount of time, they decided to redo the exam the week after next.
I'm perfectly happy with that. And I was glad that I had told before that I wasn't able to take the exam.
The bandleader started to tell us it was stress... I told him that when I know I can play something, stress won't hurt a bit. I was just not ready to take the exam.
I have far less time to exercise... as simple as that.
When I went home I was glad to be independent of the buss.
At home it was the usual mess. It always is when I'm away.
Well, they have to learn to be more tidy, because we'll be going to the band on wednesday evenings too.
Again it was very hot.
The roses are flowering again and the honeysucle is flowering again too. The flowers besides the berries.
I sat in the garden for a few minutes to drink a coffee, and there were so many birds around me.
Including one that was singing so different that it sure has escaped somewhere.
It attracted one of the singingbirds and I hardly dared to breathe.
Who cares about a chanter-exam when nature itself provides such beautiful music?
september 22 2006
Another nearly tropical day. But today in the afternoon clouds started to grow and it became very humid.
I was so tired that I overslept this morning. Or to say it better: I couldn't wake up.
I remember calling to Nyo he had to take his meds, but it was like I was hearing my own voice very far away.
I woke up when everybody, but Thami had gone to school.
It felt rather silly, because I planned to go for bloodwork and missed it again.
But it demonstrated how tired I am.
Thami went to the doc for a lungcheck. His lungvolume is a bit below what's expected of kids his age, length and weight.
Again he was told to start sporting or ballet again.
He wants to do aikido.
Well, it's not my first choice for him. Not at all.
But he goes to one of those puberty phases, with interest in things he doesn't know anything about.
I don't mind he's learning more. But I do mind the neighbourhood where the lessons are.
The girls went after school to eat an icecream with the neighbour.
It was a promise made when they went to the zoo this summer.
Well, now was the perfect weather.
They stayed away till dinner, so I had some time to practice for the first bagpipes exam tomorrow.
I haven't done enough to my feeling, but at least I'm bit confident I can play the main number.
Bagpipes are learned on a practice chanter, a kind of flute.
Problem is it takes a lot of air, like the bagpipes, but it should be incoorporated in the music, whereas on the bagpipes you just blow like hell whenever you can, and the melody is independent of the blowing.
We also need to know a lot about the rhythms tomorrow, and some stuff I had as a child.
Like naming notes.
That's my problem this time I think. I just play from the musicpaper, without naming the notes. I know how they sound, so I'm always able to skip naming them.
That's not a problem under normal circumstances, but I think we have to name notes rather fast tomorrow... and some I do know by seeing them, but others.... I just count back or forward. LOL!
So keep your fingers crossed....pwwwweaaassse!
september 21 2006
I just ate the best bramble ever. Right out of the garden.
We had brambles a few weeks ago.
But the branches started to grow and cary fruit again after the rains.
These are large, ripened in just a couple of days.
Nature is so strange the last years.
Today we'll have almost tropical weather again.
The nights are getting colder, so autumn is coming.
For the first time in ages we couldn't help Nyo with his homework.
Such a strange experience.
Usually Jim covers maths, science and such.
He did postgraduation B sciences. And I did social sciences and meds. So we about cover it all.
But yesterday...Jim's area... we just couldn't get it.
Both Thami and Nyo have the same teacher, and he's a kind of unwilling creep, if we have to believe the children. Well, I've heard parents questioning why he's a teacher at a school for kids with special needs and learning disabilities.
He just once explains matters. And that's it.
So we gave Nyo a letter to hand over, telling him would appreciate him instructing our son a bit better, and in case he thought he had explained enough, we would like to make an appointment, so he could explain matters to us, so we would be able to help our son.
Nyo came home... none of the pupils had been able to make that part of the homework, and the teacher had to explain it even more than once before most of the children understood the stuff.
The kids were surprised he took such an effort explaining. LOL!
Again it was a very hot day. This time not humid at all.
But I didn't feel much relief, because when I opened the door my nose congested, a headache announced itself and my lungs protested.
There must have been lots of low quality air.
I upped my lungmeds... I want to go to bagpipe lesson this saturday.
Last week the teacher didn't show up after I called in sick, because of the pain in my hip.
That was the second time he left the others to practice netween themselves.
So the exam will be this saturday.
And I hate exams!!!!
september 19 2006
Lars is going to Spain!!!
He's one of the two of his group to go.
Last week I got a call from the/his teacher who's one of the organisers.
He gave info, as he said to everyone who applied for a place.
But I had the feeling he was assessing us as parents.
And now Lars is one of the ten who are choosen from 42 applicants.
It's a kind of studytrip.
They go with students from another school, and a higher level of education to bussinesses that work in the profession they're studying for. In his case the graphical industry.
It's a fourteen day trip, on a kind of exchange basis, and a grant of the european union.
It's hard work, half of the time they sleep in the bus, so they can travel to another place during the night.
But they'll also visit Gibraltar and other interesting places. Madrid, Barcelona...
Maybe...maybe the seven years of trouble have passed...???
One of the schoolpics of the girls is scanned.
I'll post the little version of it.
Tomorrow the large version...
To the left id Yinti and to the right Djenné.
Right now I'm bussy with trying to find out if the school of Nyo is right in making us responsible for hiring a class-assistant for two hours a week.
He's already at a school for kids with special needs, so I can imagine the school has to take care of it, as they already get money for Nyo.
I'm also bussy for Stef.
He wants to apply for a place where handicapped people learn to live independently.
I'm not sure if it's wise to apply for that, or if we have to go for continuous psychiatric care.
He's 20 (mental age about 14 or 15) and has asperger and ADD.
He's a bad case.
He doesn't do anything but computering.
he goes to school, but often is late. Not due to me.
But there are days it costs me over an hour to make him go.
It's that I won't use a stick to hit him out, but sometimes I wish I could do that.
The same with going to bed.
I refuse to go earlier than he. But that means I have to trouble him so much that he finally goes to sleep... at 1 or 2 after midnight.
At that time I'm past needing sleep, as I have put so much effort in getting him to go to bed.
Last night I was so stressed, that I slept about 2 hours. That was it. The rest was turning and turning.
he can cook well and likes to cook, but today I told him he had to do it, because I was too tired due to him.
Ofcourse he didn't like it, but it's about the only thing he does when commanded.
I feel it's time he decides if he wants to make a future or depend on others.
At times I feel a bad mother, but when I see his agression when I ask him if he wants to go to sleep in time, I sometimes feel afraid.
I don't want to be responsible for his behaviour anymore.
The psychiatrist he had was no help at all.
Last week we filed a complaint and today we got a letter that the hospital complaint board has ordered the psychiatrist to send the paperwork we need for the application for special support at school.
So that's a start.
Today was "prinsjesdag".
A day full of traditions.
The queen went in the colden coach to the governmental building to read the financial plans for the country.
Well, I think I'll make a special page about that tomorrow or later this week.
Thanks for your lovely cards and gifts.
I'll update this week.
Huggggss.
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