Welcome to my journal.
It's about my life, my feelings and my family.
6 children.
The twins,
Nyo (14, autistic),
Thami (15, dyslectic and ADHD),
Lars (17),
Stef (20 ADD and Asperger),
and their father (PDD-Nos, autistic traits).

This blog is not written to offend, but it's a way to vent.
I'm allowed to.
I'm managing a nuthouse. LOL!

june 25

A rather quiet day... after a lot of quiet forecasts about what might happen if they would start another row.
Well, Nyo was walking on the edge over and over again.
I think it's wise to find a psychiatrist for a second opinion on his medication.
I feel the Risperdal isn't working properly.

The weather was sickening.
yesterday they gave out a warning for real bad weather in the afternoon and it even said we should check the alarms.
So the girls didn't want to go to a kind if fair in one of the shopping centres.
Such a pity, as they had such a good time there last year.

The weather was only worth a bad mood alarm...it was very grey, damp and each movement seemed to undergo triple gravity.

So I indulged myself to waterballoonthrowing and playing around with graphics.
Two friends offered me last week a membership of three months to their shoppe. Which brought me tears as it was the only happy thing that day, and today I won another three months at another shoppe.
Am I lucky or not???

Well, if it's also lucky that the weatherforecast came out, only many hours later is to be seen.
It poured!!!! Water!!! Loads of it!!
The "screen" Jim had put up to make a waterfree passage from the kitchendoor to the shed was supposed to guide the water to the deeper part of the garden.
Haha!
It only collected water and I had to push it out.
The aim was to keep the water from the playhouse, but it rained right under it, thanks to Jim...
I told him we maybe better adjust it all, and I only got his bad mood.

So I stood there pushing the water out and when it was out, holding the screen tense, so the water wouldn't collect.

He also nailed it to some wood, which was OK....if it didn't create a depth, where water collected and it drained in the gardenlamp...!!!!

Told you he can't DIY.
(He once drilled a hole in the wall between the boy's room and the girl's room.... and 5 minutes later another one. LOL!
Ofcourse I had to fix it.)

Anyone applying to buy the movierights of my life?
I'll give you my paypal, so I can buy my bagpipes immediately. LOL!
Well, I'm asked to put my paypal on the site, so people can donate a dollar or two for the bagpipes, so they're near for always when I play.
Hmmm...it feels a bit strange... but I'll think about it.
As long people don't think I'm begging.
I want to buy a set of practice pipes. They're about 100 english pounds.
They're the cheapest of all and they sounds quite reasonably.
They're fun, because they are not as big as the highland bagpipes. I can take them anywhere and play whenever I feel like.
Even in a room.
Next are smallpipes, which are a bit better, last longer, but are also a lot more expensive. They're a couple of hundreds... so I'm not looking at them.

More and more music and internet are the only real pleasures in life.

I used to make dolls from clay, but there's no place here to dry them without people walking past.

Well, I have to say that joining the band has been one of the best decisions ever made.
We all have such a joy playing and sharing.
One of the group above us wants to teach us during the whole summervacation.
I said that it was nice to come together every two or three weeks, and he fiercely told me it would be every week. LOL!
I think he wants us all to be on the highlandpipes at christmas!
He plays at his level with only one other man, and we are a group of three. So it would be a nice circle if we could catch up on them.

I brought my bagpipe whistle to the band yesterday.
Already two want to have one too.
The bandleader had a look, asked if he was allowed to play and he really brought out the best of it.
Well worth having missed the trip to Xanten.. the contest.
(Someone let me down, not driving there and telling me not timely enough. So instead of eating and drinking etc, I bought a bagpipe whistle.
The cheapest one. But I love it!!!

Well, there's nothing happening here, I'm just chatting a bit.

Had a talk with Stef about moving out. he agreed, so I'll make an appointment with someone who hopefully can help us.
He himself knows someone who lives that way, and he could say that he was helped by someone from the organisation for less abled people.
I'll contact them too.

Lets keep our fingers crossed it works out well.

I'm off.
Tomorrow I have to go to the hospital with Thami to have him checked out. He has got pectus excavatum/inward chest.
Well, let's see what the doc there says.

Have fun playing with the waterballoons!

june 23

Well, the high drama content of this life goes on...

The weather was terribly damp, and I had to clean the floor...
I must have lost eight... I must have!!!!
It felt like I was in a real water balloon fight, like all the moist has just splashed through the screen. Duh!!

I planned to take a showerd after the bad work, and leave tidying the table and doing things in the kitchen for after it.

Well, when I came out of the shower...smelling great!... I got called:

Stef again has fooled us and didn't get his schoolyear finished the way we wanted it.
because there is a new pollicy not to have kids leave school without a diploma, he can do the year again.

I felt so disappointed, but on the other hand: he had such a bad mood the last week, that he must have known.

So we had a talk by phone with his mentor, and it turned out he already knew this a week!!
He want to be treated as a grown up. Well, he first better start acting like one.

It's not the asperger that's in his way, it's his lying.
We can't help him when he isn't honest.

This way I'm really at the end of what I can do for him.

Then my friend arrived, and she knew too, as Jim had called her when he couldn't get in touch with me when I was showering.

She's normally a very tactical person, but this time she started talking about it when Stef could hear it.

Well, I don't care, but he does.
So when he got angry at Nyo, he kicked him.
He kicked him on purpose. Like having Nyo act out the pain he himself was feeling.

It made me feel really sick, and the decision that was already going through my head for some time, wil now become a goal.
I want him out of the house.

He needs a psychiatric setting where he can deal with his own (lack of) responsibility.

Next week is a very bussy one here, but after that I'll contact an organisation that might be of help.

I felt a bit ashamed towards my friend, but on the other hand, she knows us long enough to know I've done everything I could.

In the evening the girls had a bit of circus at school.
Beforehand they told me it wasn't much, but Lars wanted to video it anyway.

I stayed at home, to watch the boys, as I can deal with Stef and Nyo better than Jim, and with the current mood of Stef....

Well, he acted like nothing had happened and if life was full of kindness.... Grrrrrrrrr....

When the girls came back, it turned out it had been far too hot in there and they were only happy for me not to have gone.

Well, tomorrow it's bagpiping again.... Yea!!!!