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Monica
So many times we stood together in the
choir.
She at one side, and my best friend at the other
side.
We were young first sopranos and we could handle the
rest of the choir and the world.
There were days that
the empty corridors of the school harboured our voices after a
choirrehearsel.
The resounding walls heard our improvised
close harmony variations on the songs we'd just enjoyed and
not seldom the conductor got a surprise during a performance
because we made a perfect fit between our improvisations and
the choir.
How secure we felt during those hours, and
how happy.
Outside those wonderful hours we were
ordinairy schoolgirls, students and later
mothers.
We saw each other again even before the
school reunion.
ofcourse at the rehearsal of the reunion
choir.
We shifted places as long as needed to stand beside
each other.
She in the middle of the choir.
Her life
had made her feel very secure and the happy look in her eyes
made everybody smile.
We were so pleased to be together
again that we made plans to sing again .... "when the children
are a bit older".
I met her husband and children. And
recognised myself in her reactions.
And we
sang.
Beside me I heard her full soprano merging with my
voice.
We didn't dare to improvise during the reunion
service, but, unseen for others, we shared our
emotions.
When I saw my old dear friend among the people my
voice got clouded by tears and I had to keep silent for a
minute. She pushed me with her arm and gave me a wink.
Not
much later she went silent and took a paper hankie our of my
bag to take her tears away.
After the service, when we
took our things we talked about hoe surprised we'd been by the
deep emotions we felt.
For a while we stood with our backs
to the world, just being in each others present, sharing
unworded emotions.
Then we hugged and laughed and had
to share all those stories
The day she died abroad I
was thinking about her. Cried without knowing why. And asked
myself when we would see each other again.
We'll never
see each other again.
She was as old as I am and her
life was very fulfilling
Many people will miss
her.
A feeling that something is wrong pushed its way
into my thought.
It's not fair: ... her husband... her
children...
She could have done so much more if only
she'd been given more time.
I even feel guilty because
I'm outliving her.
Now the circle of friends of the
old days is broken.
I'll never anymore hear her firm voice
beside me.
Never see her smile and hear her light
laugh.
In me is a hug that isn't ended.
Dear
Monica.
I know you won't rest in peace, because you'll go
on smiling and talking and being there for others.
The
memories of special moments will always stay with me, and at
times I'll sing songs with your memory.
I miss you!!!
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